In Case You Missed It

There is an app on Facebook that allows you to go back and view all the statuses you posted in 2010. You can use this app to put together a conglomeration of your best and post them to your wall in a nice picture form.

I, instead, decided to go through and pick some of what I consider my best and share them here. I posted a total of 400+ statuses last year and the following is just a sampling.



Keep the dream alive…hit the snooze button.

Back in the day, I was a helluva breaker dancer. When I danced I broke tables and chairs and…

I used to be indecisive but now I’m not so sure.

I’m the life of parties I don’t even attend.

Haikus are easy,

But sometimes they don’t make sense.

Refrigerator.

What happened to the days when all you needed for school was a tablet and pencil?

Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination at all.

The nice thing about egotists is they don’t talk about other people.

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

People can be divided into three groups: Those who make things happen. Those who watch what happens. And those who wonder what happened.

Have you ever made fun of someone so much you felt like your needed to thank them for all the good times you’ve had?

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices everyday, how comenothing is free yet?

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times. I never repeat myself.

I just let my mind wander and it hasn’t come back yet.

Materialism: Buying things you don’t need with money you don’t have to impress people that don’t matter.

I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people.

I’m a little teapot short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my handle…OH SNAP! I’m a sugar bowl.

I love high school football. Everything about it. I love Friday nights win you’re looking for a win and Saturday mornings when you’ve found one.

Who’s the wise guy that invented the toilet brush? Those things hurt.

Some people cause happiness whereever go. Other WHENever they go.

The sole purpose of children’s middle names is so they can tell when they are really in trouble.

The shin bone is a device used for finding furniture in dark rooms.

Never, under any circumstance, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Dolphins are so smart, withing a few hours of captivity they can train humans to stand on the edge of a pool and feed them fish.

Just got a call from the IRS. They ain’t buying the foreign kid I claimed I adopted and named Haagen Dazs.

To achieve incredible you have to attempt the impossible.

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean there is one person who enjoys it?

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They both need to be changed regularly and for the same reason.

Children: You spend the first two years of their lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut up.

More to come...