From The Mouths Of Babes

The following are a few funny stories about my kids from over the years that I've shared as notes on Facebook but felt compelled to share them again here as a blog for those of you who missed out the first time around.

NOTE: All of these are absolutely true. You can't make this stuff up.

      Quality time with my son...

My son and I were watching the Braves one night and he quickly became bored withe the game. He's not as big a sports nut as his old man.

He opted to play with a stuffed penguin which he donned with a funky pair of star-shaped sunglasses and proudly held it up to show me.

"Look dad, it's Soulja Boy!", he announced. I grinned, told him that was funny and went back to watching the game.

A few minutes passed and he left the room only ton return with more stuffed animals. When I asked what he was doing, he informed me they were Soulja Boy's homies Kanye and Lady Ga Ga.

I don't know where he gets this stuff. I listen to rock music.

Next he wanted to tell me "yo mama" jokes. They were all pretty corny but one did get chuckle from me.
"Yo mama is so stupid she locked herself in her motorcycle."

Finally, as the Braves won the game in the bottom of the 13th inning, he announced to me that he had grown and armpit hair. ONE armpit hair.

At this point it was past our bedtime and, as I lay in bed trying to sleep, I realized my little boy was growing up.

This never gets old...

One fall, when the twins were four, I took them to the Rock Ranch for its annual corn maze and great pumpkin patch festival thing where we went on a hay ride.

Now the hay ride consisted of an old farmer driving a tractor pulling a long, flat bed trailer with sides and hay bales to sit on. It pulled its packed-to-the-gill passenger load around the ranch giving you a scenic view of the landscape and various farm animals.

The highlight of the trip was the ostrich. The driver pulled up close to the large bird and it curiously came right up to the trailer. All the children were eager to get a close up of this bird and, led by my daughter, crowded around to get a chance to observe this animal up close.

I ending up having to scold her because she absolutely refused to let any of the other kids near the ostrich.

She turned and looked me dead in the eye with the most serious look I have ever seen on anyone and exclaimed, "Daddy! I'm trying to pet this big ole duck!"

They never cease to amaze me...

My son walks into my room one night scratching his privates.

I told him to stop doing that to which he replied, "but daddy, my balls itch."

I tried correcting him by telling him "they" were called testicles.

He says, "but dad, I'm not an octopus!"

I guess he's learning SOMETHING at school.